from confusion to islam

I got a question about how long I have been Muslim. Yes, it is clear that one who converts questions about his conversion. I thought that maybe there were more who were curious and therefore  more suitable to reply to the comment in a post than as a comment back to her commet, I think. 

I've been a Muslim for nearly two years. It took me almost a year before I was able to tell my decision for my family, so yes there was a lot of sneeking around the first year. Yes I was a coward, I admit. I wish I had dared to tell right away but then I knew there was a lot of negativity towards Muslims in my family (not by all members, but from some of them) and therefore I simply dared not.  My mother is very disapointed with me. She sees a starnger and not a daughter when she looks at me. She thinks I have abandoned the family for my new lifestyle. Though it did get better since I gave birth to my little son. She now feels we have gotten closer. And I do to but for how long. And really it is because we do not talk about me being a muslim or anything muslim related.

The first year I experimented a lot with the hijab. I wanted so to use it, but because of problems with my family, I could not have it all the time. Then I decided that I was obviously not ready for the hijab since I cared so much about what my family thought. While I am a bit sad about my own weakness, I think it also is smart to not take a hasty decision.
I have seen several converts who at one time only begins with the hijab then start using the abaya and then start with the niqab. All this very quickly, often within the first year as a Muslim. There is nothing wrong with that, absolutely not. The problem that I witnessed was that they then left Islam. The reason was that they rushed into the religion too quickly. In fact, a new religion is not only a new faith, but a new lifestyle as well. I believe in small changes over time. It is important that you become secure in your faith and that it has a strong hold. That is my reason in all cases. I do not pretend to have all the answers and that my way is the right way. There are many ways and this way suits me best. one day Insha Allah, I will use the hijab full time. Now I am satisfied as a part-time hijabi, if there is such a thing. I may not be wearing hijab but I do dress modest. I usally wear long skirts and long armed shirts and dresses with pants.

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1 Lovley thoughts:

MarieHarmony said...

Interesting. I think you're right it is important to take the time and move when it feels right.
I don't think you are being weak, I know relationships with parents can be tough and you don't always know what to do. And obviously you don't want to hurt your parents or break-up with them.
I think time and prayer can help.
I truly hope your family will see behind your choice and realise you are a happy mum and women. May God be with you and bless you with many gifts and a easier family life - keep Faith!