I forgot to introduce myself

I it is not really important for you, the world to know who I am. I don´t really want you to know who I am. I sort of like the idea of being anonymous. I had a blog where I was not and all of the sudden people knew me and even told me they had seen me in real life. I just want to be able to write without anyone knowing who I am. 

But I can say this: I am a mother not yet 30 years of age. I have a few years left before I get 30. I converted to islam over a year ago and I am married to a wonderful man who is not the same nationality as I am. I live in a non islamic country and a non englishspeaking country so please excuse me if my spelling and stuff is off sometimes. 

I think I am lucky to have found something I love for my profession. I really do think I make a difference. I contribute to society. 

I just want to write about my thoughts. Being married is not always the easiest thing in the world. Being a mother isn´t either. But hey I am happy being both. But sometimes you just need to tell someone about stuff. And the best thing is if that someone does not know who you are. Then I can be free with my thoughts. And you know this is sort of the only grown up conversation I have during the day. So now you know why I am here in the blogsphere trying to comunicate with someone faceless person who happen to step inside my little corner of the blogworld. So pleace write a comment and let me know you came for a visit.

Now, pleace have good day and you are very welcome back.

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On the move

So we are moving in a week and did anyone tell how hard it is to move when you have a little baby? Well it is. When are you suppose to have time to pack all of your stuff when you have a little baby crying most of the time. It takes a lot longer than you plan. I do hope we have it all packed before we have to move. I am so happy we finally found a bigger place. 

It was starting to really get on my nerves to live in this small apartment. We really needed a bigger place and now we do al hamdulillah!

The new apartment is really cosy and recently renovated. It is not very big but it does have an extra bedroom and that is the most important thing. I mean, our baby need a bedroom to play in and later sleep in. As long as I´m breastfeeding him he sleeps in our room in his crib. I do hope he will be able to sleep on his own in time. But it is all about rutines so I will focus on that.

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Am I very selfish?

I just love to see my son grow and develop into a little person. He is learning new things every day. I am so happy to see this development in him. He has started to make such cute noises, it is like is talking to me but I really can´t understand I thing but he is so cute! 

I just love him so much. I just want to keep him all to my self.  Am I very selfish? sometimes I think to myself that I want my son to love me more than his daddy. There I said it. I am such a horrible person. How can think like that? But I do, in my darkest hours I really do. It is stupid. I love my husband and I do want my son to love him I do. Really. But sometimes I just want him all for my self.

He is just little over wo months and I have started to read 'find nemo' to my son every night before bed. Children need rutines and I just love to look how happy he gets. He loves the pictures and 'talks' to the pictures when I read to him. He is the light of my light. When I am sad I just need to look at his little face and I feel all better.

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Just a mother

I became a mother for the first time a few months ago. He is a beautiful baby boy who I love with all my heart. It is not an easy thing to be a mother. There really is not enough time during the day and still I think there is too much time, so much time I don´t know what to do with it. 

I will be home with my child for a year and it is a new feeling to me to have so much time on my hands and at the same time I can´t do a thing because my little guy wants so much attention. I found myself infront of the TV more than I´d like to, because that is something I can do at the same time I´m with my beautiful baby boy. 

So welcome to motherhood I say to my self and I wonder how other mothers do to get anything done when you have a little person who need you all hours of the day?

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