Raising a child

So, I have always had a very strong view on how I want to raise my children. And then when I all of the sudden was a mother I came to realize that it is really not as simple as just deside how I want to do and then just do it. I have alwyas know how I do not want to be when I became a mother. But now I wonder how can I achieve that? It really isn´t as simple as one may think.

1. I want to raise my child as a muslim (now that is a given not insha allah not the most difficult since I have a lot of support in my husband´s family.

2. I don´t want my child to be spoild. The I am afraid he will be one of those children who just screams until he gets what he wants. I don´t want that to happen. 

3. I want my children to be loving, sharing, and polite to older people. 

4. I want them to listen to their parents 

5. I don´t want them to be charmed by the way my family lives. (they are not muslim) I mean I don´t want them to want that kind of life instead of the way a muslim lives.

So how do one achieve all that? I want a lot of things but I think that I need the respect and acceptance  from my and my husband´s family in order for this to work. What I mean is that they need to respect that I and my husband want to raise our children this way and not do something else behind our backs.