I feel totally overwhelmed

1/30/2011 10:47:00 PM | Categories:

My organizational skills seem to be nonexistent. How does other moms do this? I really wish I could be more orderly. Actually, I think it's about, I find it hard to organize my day now that I have to organize around my little son. Such a simple thing like cleaning seems to be so very unattainable now. Just the thought of how I should do to be able to clean and cook and paying bills and, and, and all in one day.... Yes, just the thought makes me sit down and do absolutely nothing. 

For the most part, I feel totally overwhelmed by all these perfectly normal and common tasks. Actually, I can not do everything when my boy is asleep, because that then he would most likely wake up, or I do not have time because he only sleeps for short periods at a time. I have a baby bjorn but then he is little in the way as he hangs on my stomach. Then I´m mostly walking around and worry that I should happen to go into something so that he get hurt. It is very fortunate that I can force my husband to help me sometimes. 

Tomorrow I will force him out of bed early in the morning so that he can help me clean the house, his parents will come to dinner and then it must be clean and nice at home. I think it needs to be cleaned but my husband doesn´t think so, but I do not care and what does he know anyway? If I have not cleaned when they arrive to see the new apartment and have dinner with us then I will not be able to think of anything else and I will be ashamed of how it looks. Though frankly, I still find it hard to relax when they come. Always when I cook for them, I am dissatisfied with the food and I do not think it is good, which means that I am ashamed that the food is not so good. And of course it does not matter that the in-laws say that the food was delicious.  

The thing is that my mother is a star in the kitchen. Her food is incredibly good and there is no way to measure up to her skill in the kitchen. When I cook for myself and my husband then I can be really satisfied and really think that I am not so stupid in the kitchen after all, but as soon as I should invite someone elsefor dinner then I get so incredibly insecure. It´s stupid I know but that is how it is for me.

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'Paradise lies at the feet of your mother'

1/29/2011 03:53:00 PM | Categories:

Wow, to be a mother in this society is hard!

People really have no respect for mothers. Try to find somewhere to breastfeed in this town. It is absolutely impossible. There are no nursing room anywhere in this town. Try to go in a shop with a stroller .... completely impossible. Even though you try to be careful, you go into the shelves and the like, all the time because it is so crowded. Not to mention all the angry looks you get for coming into the store with the stroller to begin with. Oh, and going to the cafe with the stroller. You can not do that either, though there are actually a couple of cafes or so that are appropriate for strollers and given that this is a city with a few million inhabitants, I think that is terrible. Why is that I wonder? I mean there are quite many mothers living here you know.....

But if you are able to find a cafe where you come in with a stroller, you hope that your tresure (your child) do not start to cry because then you will experience how it feels to be hated like the plague. people at the tables nearest starts to move as far as they can while the rest of the cafe guests offers a blend of looks that says either: Can you take your kid and go  away from here, you disturb us, don´t you get that? or  Poor woman, that mother can not keep track of her children.  
Where is the respect for us mothers? I think we deserve so much more than this societal contempt that we have to endure. It is we who educate citizens in the society and what do we get for it? contempt? It is not easy being a mom. It is hard work and I think we deserve some respect. It is like our prophet said (peace be upon him) in a hadith:  "Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them."[Mazhari] But then again I do not live in a muslim country so I guess that means nothing to most people here, but I really do think it should!

Right now, I feel that I do not want to go outside the door with my son. Actually, I think the incredible music and all the screaming people do, makes the children more worried. Well there you have one more thing that makes it impossible to enjoy a day on the town with your child. THE TERRIBLY HIGH MUSIC that gives you a headache. In addition, you can not lead a normal conversation because you have to yell to be heard.

Someone else who is as frustrated as I am? 

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Just a regular day

1/26/2011 09:52:00 PM | Categories:

My son is sleeping and we are both bathed and I am soon ready for bed. I just want to make a little post before I hit the sacks. (was that the right expression?) 

I´ve done alot today I think. I´ve been cleaning and I put together a bookshelf that I will have in my livingroom. Oh I am just so happy to finally have somwhere to put my books! Sooo lovley. I also went for a walk today. I was such a nice day outside today. It was cold but the sun was shining and it felt really great to be outside in the sun.

Anyway. This is just a short little post about nothing really. Oh that reminds me. We have finally reserved time for our little son's circumcision. It will take place next week. insha allah it will all work out for the best.

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Allah gave her a tear to shed

1/26/2011 08:59:00 PM | Categories:

I found something so beautiful on Facebook and I want to share it with you.  
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
...
"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said,

"And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does

mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he met an old man who would surely know the answer.

And he asked him: "Old man, why do women cry so easily?" 
Old man said: "When woman was created, she had to be made special. Allah created her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. She was given an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. And a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

Allah gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. She was given strength to carry her husband through his faults and she was fashioned from his rib to protect his heart.

Allah gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And lastly, Allah gave her a tear to shed. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers."

"You see my son," said old man, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

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Mosques and women

1/22/2011 03:36:00 PM | Categories:




I was reading a really interesting post in houda´s blog and it really got me thinking about women in the mosque. She was very clear about the fact that she thinks it is wrong that women must pray in a different room than the men. I perceived it as the main reason for this was that she wanted to see the imam who spoke and feel that she was as worthy as men before God. She questioned why a woman should feel like second-class citizens before God, even if that is not the case at all. 

I've never really thought that women are worth less than men in front of God and therefore I understand her irritation that the woman is in the shadows of the mosque. Personally I am grateful that I can pray privately with the women. I feel it is easier to get in touch with myself and with God in that way, but it may be that we in our mosque we can actually see the imam when he talks because we are in the same room as him, but we are on a balcony over the men. For that reason, I feel involved. I do not feel secluded. It is very possible that I would have felt differently if I had not been able to see the imam, and we had been sitting in a completely different place.  


Actually, now that I mention it, I had to pray in another room last year at Eid. There were so many people there that not everyone could fit on the balcony. I was one of those that did not fit, therefore we had to go up to another room and listen to the imam by loudspeaker. It's true. It was not nearly the same experience of prayer. I have found that I appreciate our balcony for giving me some privacy while I feel fully involved in prayer. I believe that houda is right when she says that as a woman should be allowed to choose herself if she want to pray together, but behind the men or if she want to pray privately in another room inside the mosque. But I'll be honest, I think a balcony over the men provide a prefect balance between the two.

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stay at home

1/21/2011 09:37:00 PM | Categories: ,

I miss my work! 

I do. I love my son and I love being with him but I really really miss my work. I never ever thought I would ever say that. During my whole pregnancy I wished I could be at home. I had no energy left for work. I didn´t want to work, I wanted to be at home and sleep and do 'homey' stuff, like cooking and cleaning. And now when I am at home all the time and actually can do those things I want to get back to work. Am I crazy? Why do I always want what I don´t have? And I haven´t stoped working completly. I still work but only a few hours a month. one morning every month. Not so much no. But I want more. It is fun to work. I like to work and I really do enjoy being at my work. (I think I will go and visit them next week.)

Then I think about my son and how important it is to take care of every moment with him, becuase I will never get this time back with him. He is growing so very fast. It feels like only yesterday when he was a new born and now he little over three months, wow, how did that happen? I guess I need to stay in the moment, not looking back or farward. Just be here and now and nowhere else. When it is time for me to get back to work I am sure I will miss being at home with my beautiful little son.

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A concern of mine

1/21/2011 08:19:00 AM | Categories:

My dearest husband got the number to a doctor who circumsize boys. Apperently he is famous and evryone goes to him both muslims and jews. And he is a legitimte doctor and not a fake. At least that is what my hubby said. So I feel a little better now. My mother inlaw thinks we should call him right away before he gets four months old. Actually I think so too. The sooner the better right? Insha allah it will be quick and not to painful for my little baby. 

He is so cute my little one and he is growing up so fast! I never thought I would miss the first months in my babys life because it was really hard for me. We could not go anywhere and I was so tired all the time and locked up in that small apartment. I really thought I would be crazy. And he was really not that difficult but he wanted to nurse all the time and for like 1 hour at the time sometimes. It was hard for me. and I couldn´t do anything but sit on the sofa and watch tv.  But now he is bigger and 'talking' and makes bubbles with his mouth, so big! Well now I miss when he was so little that he could lay on my belly like a little ball. He was so small and I miss that. But I love that he can be on is own for a few minutes without crying. Now I can actually cook and clean and write in this blog and that is nice. And now we can go outside for a walk if we feel like it.

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Tulips and orchids

1/19/2011 10:33:00 PM | Categories: ,

I love flowers! But for some reason Orchids are the only flower I can manage to keep alive. Actually I rock at taking care of orchids! I always get compliments on my orchids when people come to my house. I really think that orchids are the most beautiful flower in Allah´s creation. They are so delicate and so simple and amazing. 

I also love tulips. My mother and sister came to visit me yesterday and they brought purpule tulips for me. Very lovley. I just love how tulips remind me of spring. When you can buy tulips in the store than you know that spring is on it´s way al hamdulillah for all the beautiful things in this world.

I have reacently moved to a bigger appartment and today I think I found the perfect curtains for my livingroom. They are really nice. But they are sort of hard to describe in color. They are sort of beige-bronze-brown-gold and a little shiny in the fabric with a print of flowers that you can barley see. Like I said hard to describe, but I really like them. Now I just need to check with my hubby to se if he also like them. I guess that will be tomorrw since he probably wont be home until after I am a sleep. I just want to be done with this moving stuff. We still have a few things at the old apartment and it is two weeks since we started to move. And I have still a lot of boxes that needs to be unpacked. But it is hard when you have a baby and your husband don´t really do that much and is never home. (sorry, I got a bit irritated for a moment) Anyway. I guess We will be done with all of this some day in a insha allah near future.

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Oh how I love thee

1/17/2011 04:53:00 PM | Categories:

My wonderful baby boy is keeping me occupied. I have not many chances to write here, but now he is sleeping in his swing so I steel myself a moment with you bloggers out there who ever you might be. We went to the nurse today because he is now three months old, masha allah how fast he grow, to take his vaccin for alot of diseases that I do not want him to get. It´s standard here everyone gets a vaccin shot at three months. It was hard for me to watch him in pain, my little one. He was so sad! 

How will I cope the day he will be circumcised? It must be the hardest thing for every mother when their children are in pain even if it is for a good thing. I want to do it soon though before he starts to move around alot. I think the healing process will be faster if he don´t move around to much. My sister in law´s oldest child didn´t get circumcised until he was three years I think. And he remebers the pain (he is five now) and that is not what I want for my son. Her youngest son is soon three and he is not yet circumcised either. 

For all you mothers out there I have a question: What is your experience and thoughts about this? Pleace let me know in a comment.

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Ikea is the best ever!

1/08/2011 08:37:00 AM | Categories:

I don´t know in how many countries Ikea exist, But for you who doesn´t know what ikea is: it is a store with everything you can imagine for your home. They have everything and I just love to walk aound there. I had to buy some thing to our new appartment.  

Paws for the chairs (you know the small round things that you have underneath the legs on the chair, so as not to scratch the floor) We call them paws here anyway. I also bought hooks to hang on the door. I bought new clothes hangers in plastic to take up much less space in the closet than the hangers that are made of wood. I really enjoy my hangers in wood, it looks so good but they take up too much space. Ikea is actually really nice plastic hangers. 

This is the hook I bought. It is really smart!

I just bought alot of these little things that I needed. And I really had a nice time there. I love, love, love I love smart solutions on how to keep things at home, etc. I am always looking for great stuff to make your life simpler in your home. It is just so much fun!

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